So as you’ve noticed I’ve taken some time off from here and from all other socials for a bit. After everything I went through in the past year I thought it was best to take a step back from writing and really take a look at myself in depth. Durning my trip I started reading a lot more as well as practicing meditations. You wouldn’t believe the enlightening moments I’ve had this past few months really discovering what needed to be uncovered. One of the biggest things was realizing that I myself have changed dramatically.
After reading a page from Oprahs book The wisdom of Sundays which the the article was the conversation from Tony Robbins, another great influential mind. Oprah asks “what is the number one rules you would offer someone to becoming their most authentic self? Because thats really what we’re all looking for. How do I just be more of me?”
Tony Robbins- “I think its allowing yourself to be spontaneous instead of responding to how you think your supposed to be, we’ve all developed an identity, a sense of who we think we are and who we’re not. You define yourself not only by who you think you are but also by who you’re not. and those definitions were usually made ten, twenty, thirty, forty years ago. And we rarely upgrade them unless we have an abrupt experience that makes us reevaluate our lives. So to consciously decide, “who am I today? What do I stand for? What am I here for? What am I here to give? What am I here to learn? What am I here to grow? What am I here to enjoy? And to spontaneously try things.”
Alrighty so the rest is in her book there but the main thing that stood out was the fact that as we grow we change. Not only our values but our source of thought. I have come to learn that we all and me especially need to slow down and really value who we are after everything. I tried so hard to be the innocent girl that everyone adored the one who broke to many hearts, in a not so forgiving way. Over that course of time I was proving and pushing that she still existed. But not looking at my self in reflection and seeing what monster really was proven to be me.
After the summer I had taken off to relax and connect with myself again. I noticed as I was trying to prove something like I was before. I didn’t understand, I felt a little better I was getting sleep. Making healthier choices. Wasn’t letting myself be treated unfairly by others. Just thinking shouldn’t I feel more motived, inspired, or enlightened. So I decided to go back to main sources of books that made me feel the best of all ways. Which are Lightworrker Relationships and also Lightworker by my absolute favorite Sahvanna Arienta. It came to show how I’ve shut down channels to my heart chakra. Which results in not channeling any love energy from any source. Then the shut down begins as you’re not able to attract the healthy love energy. Shutting down one of your seven heart chakras causes you to over use over absorb all the other channels. Resulting in an unbalanced energy frequency. After failed connected and wrong attractions, I told myself I was needed to work on myself in depth. Not knowing that was a voice of ego. Proving and pushing the fact that I didn’t accept how my relationships were going. Protecting myself from heart break. It wasn’t all wrong I did need some time for myself to really get back in balance. But approaching the wrong way. Not letting myself be vulnerable to the truth, becoming a victim in my story. It struck me as my sister and I get into discussion. She tells me as she trying to heal old wounds that she need to forgive the girl that did this and that. Putting herself in third person was an enlightening moment for me. I realized as I try to prove I’m this person that is healthier and wiser. So focused on proving because that image of the hurt and exhausted girl was still there, bothering me. Knowing damn well if I did all the work of healing I wouldn’t be this frustrated with what I once was. Next step is to heal and forgive the voice of my past. I may not be there yet but as cheesy as I could put it life will always be throwing you in the direction of growth and lessons.
I see how this post is not like my others. I was guided to get my sense of story out here for you guys. I’ll be sure to write through all my lessons and enlightenment. Thank you for reading, and of course I wish you all the warming light and positive energy frequency.